🐰💖My Vtuber Journey💖🐰

July 24th 2026

The Vtuber community is an interesting one for sure. I remember when they started becoming popular in Japan, I have a friend who was a huge fan of the Hololive girls at the time. I personally didn't really think about vtubers much until the end of 2020, after the announcement of the first English branch of Hololive opening auditions. I recall having a passing interest, but I was never much of a livestream watcher. I had a Twitch account I had made to stream art once a few years prior, but would not start using it actively until late 2021.

Usually you kind of know when something's meant for you. After hearing about the hololive EN auditions, I felt a sort of small excitement in my stomach. I didn't plan on applying or auditioning, but the seed was definitely planted then. I wouldn't really do anything about it until the summer of 2021. To set the scene a little, in early 2020 I had just finished college, with no job prospects and wanting to change my path in life. It was still early Covid and my mom and I fled France, to isolate with our family in Poland. We stayed there almost all year, and had plenty of time on our hands. I drew a lot that year, and played tons of games and chatted with online friends.

Around May 2020, we would start our annual camping trip early, we had nothing else to do anyway! After helping our grandparents with planting vegetables, we were free to camp. We had enough equipment to be comfortable: a caravan with 4 beds, tables, umbrellas and chairs, a mini-kitchen with all the appliances we'd need, and a speedboat for fun. This was basically an idelic way of isolating for us. No one was around and we were in nature, safe from the chaos of the world...

Eventually life would become a bit more normal, but I still stayed mostly unemployed with no active education for a few more years afterwards. We were comfortable enough to be able to afford it as well. I'd do a few small jobs but otherwise I was free most of the year. Fast forward to Summer 2021, this was when the real vtuber journey would begin. That is also around the time I got along with a college friend's online friend. The details are blurry but I recall us excitedly talking about potential vtuber designs for ourselves. We didn't quite plan to stream yet, that decision wouldn't be made until later that year.

If you read my art blog, you'd know that I mentioned me drawing in a sketchbook on every summer camping trip, this would of course also continue then. I had the same sketchbook for 2020 and 2021, and would get to designing a vtuber for myself just for fun.

I happened to have scanned a lot of old sketchbooks this year, so I actually have the first concept sketches to share here!

Guusagi version 1 concept sketches July 26th 2021

As I'm writing this paragraph, I realize that I'm missing the other concepts I had of guusagi, I had a school uniform, a more magical girl look etc. and will post it in here when I find them.

Eventually I ended up with a comfy stay-at-home concept that you see here: A large comfy hoodie, a short skirt for extra cuteness, and long stockings with no shoes. At first, Guusagi's rabbit features were only hinted at and she was a regular human, but eventually I decided to add some lore to make her rabbit features a part of her anatomy. Eventually I made the tail the only real part of her body and the ears were hinted at on the hoodie's hood. Later on, once I created Guusagi's 2nd design, I would write a lore concept, send it to a writer for proof-reading and build off of it and drew/narrated a lore video - but I'll talk about it more later. For now, I just had this concept with no real plans to debut, until later on that year once my friend decided to debut on Twitch.

I would then create my first ref sheet after that summer vacation in 2021, once I was back home on my computer.

At first I was afraid of debuting, or I didn't feel ready. My friend had also designed herself a vtuber, and made a pngtuber out of herself. After her debut, around a week later, I would follow suit. Inspired by her own debut stream on Twitch as Umineko. Before debuting though, I wanted to start not with a pngtuber but a 3d model. I didn't want to spend hundreds of dollars on a from-scratch commission, since I wasn't sure if I'd even enjoy streaming long-term. I did already have a history of "kit-bashing" MMD models for Vrchat back in 2018, and thought to find someone who makes custom commissions for a low-budget price. For those who don't know, MMD stands for Miku Miku Dance, which is a free program people use to create 3d models for dancing videos or any other animations they'd like to do. It started with people wanting to make music videos for their Vocaloid songs, hence the name. I had requested an MMD model for Vrchat in the past as well, but I didn't have commercial rights to it and I wanted something custom-made, as that model had reused assets from other modelers. I ended up finding someone who would use an MMD base then create the hair, clothes, accessories etc. in Blender for around $35 or so, and I was set! The original creator of the model is Paprika1432 on Deviantart, and I made a reference sheet for her not long after. Looking at the date of publishing on dA, the model was made in October 2021.

I wish I remembered what my first stream was, but I recall that the first VOD and clips I'd get would be once I became an affiliate: ToonTown Rewritten! Those clips are the oldest on my channel and it's sweet seeing my old model and layout. The oldest clip I could find is from 2022 after becoming an Affiliate around April of that year, here's a screenshot to give you an idea!

The simplicity of the old layout is so endearing to me, also it's so...bright colored! Glad I changed it after about a year or so!

Fast-forward a year or so, I'd start to comfortably build a small community of viewers, and started raiding out and watching actual streams on Twitch, which I had not done before. Eventually I'd feel comfortable enough to be myself more, and more energetic with my streams. I recall my dad mentioning I sounded like a radio host with how clearly I was speaking on stream haha. If only that reflected in my day-to-day conversations! Around that time I wanted to update my design to reflect this growth, as well as finally getting a lore story written out. I had a short outline already, but as I mentioned earlier I would commission a writer to build off of my outline, and proof-read it correcting any errors to make it look more official. Another thing did end up pushing this change for me: my old laptop wasn't able to handle my 3d model anymore, so I did a soft redebut of my 2nd design as a PNGtuber I made myself. (these are illustrations that react to your microphone and are the most affordable and least intensive way to stream without a webcam.)

I honestly don't recall the true order of events, but I'd end up making a new reference sheet of Guusagi's second design on July 29th 2022, and the PNGtuber was complete by January 11th 2023 (according to the days I posted them to instagram haha.)

Guusagi version 2.0

Guusagi PNGtuber

Also I found my concept art / doodle dump for this design too!

This would also be around the same time that I'd finalize Usagi-kun's design, when before he was just a vaguely shaped white rabbit plushie, he became a real animal that was part of her lore. Around mid-August 2022, I moved from France to the US, which changed up my stream schedules, having to recreate an audience almost from scratch due to the big time difference between the two countries. I'd also finally build my own custom desktop PC, which made me being able to stream with a moving model possible again!

However this redebut would end up being much more involved, and require more effort than I ever expected. Since I started vtubing on Twitch, I had one dream: To have a Live2D Model! Many of you may know that those are EXPENSIVE, thousands of dollars if you're really serious about it. I loved streaming, but I wasn't ready to spend that much on a hobby. Although I was an Affiliate who received some small donations and subscriptions, I only made around 100-200$ since I signed that contract with Twitch. It wasn't financially viable for me. I would end up taking matters into my own hands and doing something I've never done before: make my own model myself from scratch!

Easier said than done, if I wanted to completely make this model from start to finish, not only would I have to learn how to draw and cut-up a model ready for rigging, but I'd have to learn how to use Live2D Cubism, the program Live2D models are made on, and do the rigging/animations myself. I was still motivated to do it, plus I had the extra incenstive of being able to stream the whole process! I believe this would become my biggest and longest stream series to date. I would at least complete the art from start to finish mostly on stream, as much as I could. I'd also end up away from my computer that summer so I would subscribe to Clip studio Paint on my ipad so I could continue working on it. I have the Live2D Cubism process VODs uploaded to my youtube channel, you can watch it all in order here!

I might not have mentioned this before, but from childhood to when I was in high school, I wanted to be an animator. I made a few short animations back around 2016-2017, but nothing all that demanding. I had very basic animation knowledge, and I loved watching animated shows and movies so I felt like I at least had an idea of how to rig the model.

Gosh, it took so many hours to complete the model! According to instagram, I completed the artwork portion of the model on May 26th 2023 and the rigging portion was completed around late January 2024, my redebut being right around then as well. So much trial and error, I learned a lot from that experience. With my new friends at my side, the redebut was a success and so much fun!

Here is the ref sheet for the L2D Model and the video showcase!

(watching it now I'm so nostalgic over this, it feels like forever ago already.)

After the redebut it was like I evolved and became a new person, cus not only did I make a Live2D model on my own from start to finish, but I also completed the biggest "animation" project ever. I mentioned having some experience in animating... I still have some of the gifs inside of my tumblr drafts: take a look!

A few short animations I made during college for fun, mostly random silly ideas I had while playing around with flash.

I would end up creating my lore video, alongside the l2d model. I'm not exactly sure about the timeline, but I believe I completed the model first then worked on the lore video to make it on time for the redebut? Anyways, after spending many many hours drawing each frame on my ipad, editing it on davinci resolve, and narrating the story myself...this was the result!

My vtuber lore was always meant to be more personal. Although the actual events are obviously fiction, I did indeed experience bullying during middle school. I was mocked for my drawings and my love of anime, and it made me close myself off. I was already introverted, but it definitely got worse, and I started to feel ashamed of myself and my self-esteem severely dropped because of my experiences in school. Guusagi's animal features weren't just for aesthetics or cuteness, or to be more appealing, they represented my true self in a way. Hiding my "bunny" features, or losing them in the case of this story about Guusagi the vtuber, represented losing my true self.

My initial plan for Guusagi was that she was just a human dressing up as a bunny for fun, but it became more than that. Her rabbit features were real, just hidden away. Streaming as a vtuber had made me, and by extension Guusagi, able to open up and truly be myself. However, self-acceptance is still a journey. Although her ears and tail became real, they were still not visible to all. I did add the ears to the model, for when she would express surprise or excitement. Those ears would peak out, aka her true personality would show when she stopped holding back.

Fast-forward about a year, I would end up commissioning a cosplay version of Guusagi's version 2 design. It was the first time I had ever done something like this, and I dmed a few people, and landed on the person I'd choose for this project. She was very enthusiastic about it, and mentioned always wanting to make a Vtuber costume. I wanted to wear something for my first ever Twitch Con, it was the perfect idea! She would end up completing the outfit and it would arrive the day before my trip, which was nerve-wracking haha. Here's a picture of me wearing it!

The creator of Guusagi's cosplay was Saku's Craft Corner, a fellow vtuber!

I'd also contact my previous 3d modeler, to update Guusagi's 3D model to the new design.

There are so many more things I could talk about when it comes to my vtuber journey, but it's starting to get a bit long, so I'd like to talk about the less fun/realistic parts of my vtuber journey.

It wasn't all sunshine and rainbows throughout my streaming experience. I still had a lot of self-doubt, being a small streamer isn't easy. There will be many times where you will stream and talk to an audience of nobody. I'm very grateful that I always had at least a few people tuning in, even if it was just for lurking. As of me writing this blog, I had been streaming as Guusagi the vtuber for about 4 years now. Being a content creator of any kind nowadays is a mix of extreme luck and lots of work, pushing, and begging for a sliver of attention. Your success online isn't a steady graph that goes up and up. You may think for example: "The longer I stream, the more followers I'll get, the more live viewers I'll get, the more money I will make!", which isn't actually the case.

After 4 years of consistent streaming, posting clips on tiktok and youtube, re-uploading VODs and editing them for youtube, I may have doubled in followers but I am nowhere near some of my peers in terms of live views. It's unrealistic to expect the same views as IronMouse, or Jerma, or any other corporation vtuber like the Hololive girls, but everyone wishes they had a steady amount of people tuning into them live. I have vtuber friends who get more views, have more followers, and still have their own struggles and expectations. I look up to them and they taught me that my live numbers don't mean that I'm a failure, or that having more attention would make me happier. Nowadays I stream to about 3-10 people give or take, mostly within or under 5 viewers. I have a very niche taste in specific games, and I usually stream games that are story-heavy and take a long time to complete, simply because it's my favorite type of game. My most successful streams tend to be my art/doodle streams, ironically the category I stream the least. My art journey had been a difficult one, I struggle to draw anything nowadays, maybe it's a sign I need to push harder and stream more art. My art streams usually make me jump to 10-15 viewers easily, something to consider moving forward. I also receive similar success when I play Project Diva Megamix+, but I don't want to play that game all the time either! At the same time, I don't want to adhere to what works better, I want to stream what I want to stream, even if it's not helping me in the long run! It's a very conflicting hobby to say the least lol.

This year especially, I was less motivated to stream because I ended up quitting my full-time job in November 2025, and I ended up having a lot of free extra time while I studied to change careers, and enjoyed my freedom thanks to the generosity and support of my family. Despite having all the time in the world to stream now that I didn't have to go to work, I ended up streaming the least this year. I've been on a trip for the past 2 months as I'm writing this, so I haven't been able to stream this whole time, giving me a lot of time to think. I'll definitely reconsider my approach to streaming. Lately, even streaming for 2 hours would end up being more of a slog, I had less inspiration and wasn't sure what I even wanted to stream anymore, mixing up a few sandbox games between streams, without a schedule in mind.

Around this time, I would also get inspired to give Guusagi a small update, a 2.5 version if you will. I wanted to change how I draw her hair, and I ended up making a new reference sheet to reflect this change. I was also not satisfied with the art I made in version 2, and wanted to add some ribbons to her shoes. It motivated me to update the hair on my live2d model as well! I'd also add rabbit teeth to her design, making her more rabbit-like as she grew as a person.

I'm still really proud of the work I did on both haha.

Again, I would create a live2d showcase video of the model update, which you can watch below!

However, there was always something in the back of my mind whenever I would stream with this model. I wished I was more expressive, that I could really show my facial expressions, making the streams more lively and immersive. I was always keeping an eye on the new trend of customizable live2d models, where artists would create models people could purchase and make them look like themselves, for much less of a fee than a model made from scratch. This made having a live2d model much more accessible, and new and better/cuter models with more options would be popping out left and right. I always kept an eye on new projects, waiting for the perfect model that would suit Guusagi. I ended up finding Lizmeta, the art style they used really appealed to me, and I saw enough options to be able to recreate Guusagi and make her look like herself. Once the model was available for purchase, I bought it! Despite all the options for customization, I couldn't recreate my outfit perfectly. I'd experiment with lots of different outfits, whatever I could make with this model. I had designed some alt outfits for Guusagi before getting this model, which are in my art gallery: an emo outfit inspired by my love for MCR, a maid outfit and a cozy outfit inspired by some Miku lounge-wear I saw online.

Experimenting with so many outfits thanks to this model, I would decide to finally update Guusagi's outfit and give her a 3rd official design. I had so much fun with the model, and I had an easy way to experiment new fits and styles, ending up on what I'm currently using today. I had grown even more as a streamer, at least in terms of my confidence and self-esteem, having made friends with a group of vtubers I consider my closest friends to date. I also wanted to add more lore, progression to Guusagi's character. I'd end up deciding to make her rabbit ears feature more prominently in her design. In the past, I had experimented with different ways I could draw Guusagi's ears and was never satisfied with the silhouette it would make, but eventually I'd figure out something I liked. Her 2nd outfit was super iconic to me, and many people loved it, so I was really worried about being able to create a new iconic design that would still stand out like the previous one.

It's still a relatively new design I'm getting used to, but I'm really starting to love it. Plus it's a bit easier to draw her in different positions now, since she didn't have anything off the shoulder anymore, that would restrict her movement before. I also kept her main colors and added a splash of yellow for the fun of it haha.

Also, here's the live2d version of the model!

Finally, this brings us to...today! I don't think I'll stop streaming anytime soon, I'm still motivated to succeed and improve. I'm inspired by those around me, my fellow smaller streamers. Without them, I wouldn't have grown as much as I did. I didn't mention it earlier in this blog, but one of the main reasons I kept streaming was because of a particular Vtuber, Strawberry! Back when I used to watch her, I had just lost a long battle to save my original discord account. I had gotten scammed and hacked, and the support team wasn't able to help me. I was super upset about it, not only was my account being used to infect my friends and servers, but I had lost contact with a lot of older friends in the process. Watching them really lifted my mood, in fact she became the first streamer I actively watched live. I still don't really watch many livestreams, but for some reason theirs would keep me interested, chatting it up, for a really long time. Without her I wouldn't have built my friend groups, or met the people that would lead me to my current friends.

This blog ended up taking way longer and became more detailed than I expected, it was super fun to work on though! Finding all these references images and videos was a walk down memory lane. I really grossly summarized what I went through as a streamer, but it was definitely a positive in my life. I hope I can grow, and do better. If this could end up being my livelyhood that's the ideal scenario haha. I'm studying to switch to a career in IT, but I don't want to drop this hobby, ever. Even if I never grow, even if I never become "successful", even if one day I'll drop my vtuber persona and just become a "fleshtuber", I think I'll keep going.

Anyways thank you for reading! I think I have one more bigger blog project in mind before I start just doing shorter, life-update blogs and working on making some shrines on my main website hehe.

Guusagi signing off!🐰💖